Ten-Twenty-five-O-four

So that time came around again. This date marks the 4th year since my dad passed away. I keep it in my calendar as "Dad's Death Anniversary" because I'm not sure what else to call it. My hubby said, "Why is it called an anniversary. I think anniversaries are for happy celebrations. His death wasn't necessarily something to celebrate." But again...I don't know what to call it!

My dad passed away after suffering from complications with diabetes. He of course died too soon. He had been sick and sometimes weak for a few years, but we weren't ready when it came time for him to go. He was days shy of turning 55 years old. (This isn't what I want to revisit, so I'll move on.)

This year, I was with my husband and his side of the family for game night. I didn't talk to my mom, sister, or brother about "the day" so we made no plans for us to do something together. Sunday I was with my mom and sister and my mom said she went to the cemetary. She asked if I'd been recently. I told her it had been a while and now that I think about it, I was pregnant the last time I went, so that would make it about 3 years ago. My sister said she's never been. The year of his death, my mom did the sweetest thing when daddy's birthday came. We had a birthday party for him and we went to dinner. She had bought each of us a gift...(I'm sorry.)

Dwight D. McCarter, Sr.

11/13/1951 - 10/24/2004

We of course sang happy birthday and talked about dad and laughed. It was nice. We've never been the types to share our emotion in front of each other. We try to be strong for one another, so I think we all must cry in private. I do anyway.

The first father's day was rough for my mom. She stayed home. My sister and I were with the rest of the family. My grandmother stated that she knew it would be a hard day. People were so sorry for us, but we were fine. I mean, by July, it had been months since he passed so, we were cool. We took turns calling to check on mom and she said that she was ok. She just wanted to stay home that day.

Ever since then, we still talk and laugh about dad. His passing of course still stings as if new. I have my moments from time to time and I try to keep my feelings supressed until I'm alone. I think my hubbs still knows when and what I'm thinking at these moments. He's right there to comfort me, but he knows how to back off just far enough to let me have my moment...(whew...I'm sorry.)

My dad still lives through us. We still do what he taught us. Some of us still carry his mannerisms. My son does too. It's so weird! He sits in his chair the way my dad did when he was relaxing. When he was really young, Jo Jo would babble in his sleep. Hubbs said he was talking to my dad. I kinda believed it. He likes his food HOTT like my dad did. (What kid doesn't mess around and wait until the food is all cold and soggy before they eat it?!) Sometimes I can feel his presence around me. Its a feeling like a familiar presence is there with you. I don't believe in ghosts and I never ask to see my dad in that form, but I do feel him from time to time.

My point here is that I would like for us to let our guards down and talk about what happened leading up to that date. We could even cry in front of each other if need be. Not that there would exactly be closure, but I think talking about "the day" together would help us with our feelings and bring about a sense of comfort amongst one another. Crying in private about feelings we all share isn't working for me. I wanna talk about how I felt and what my mom, sister and brother were feeling. How scary and disappointing it all was. How it still affects us to this day. For a long time, none of us could even drive past the hospital area where he died. I still get a little uneasy driving through there.

I just don't want to carry on like we have no feelings about the whole thing. The date is gonna come around year after year...and I don't wanna act like it doesn't exist.

Can't Lose What's Still There

My grandfather passed away on August 23, 2008. He was 85 years old. He was not only my grandfather, but my pastor. So, you can imagine how many lives have been affected. If not, let me give you the rundown:

• He was 1 of 13 children
• Father of 7 children
• Grandfather of 18 grands
• Great-grandfather of 12
• Pastor for 55 years
• Husband for 65 years

John R. Gaudy

11/11/1923 - 8/23/2008

You catch my drift?

About a week after his funeral services, my hubby and I attended a birthday party for one of my cousin's wife. He made a speech at the end and mentioned Granddaddy and said, "I won't say that I lost my grandfather, because he is still with me." Those that were there agreed: Granddaddy's teachings, legacy, mannerisms, outlook on life, example and other traits are things that the people he left behind will cherish and keep with them forever.

Mrs. Florine & Pastor John Gaudy

He was the coolest! He would go to different places around the country, and those that knew him would know he was coming because of his walk. They called it the "Gaudy walk." If you were in his company, you would find yourself doing the walk too. People would say hello and his response wouldn't be a wave...that was too flashy. He would lift his fore-finger, and give a short nod of his head. Baby, he was COOL! He never raised his voice. You never saw him upset. You knew when he wasn't playing, but you could never get a rise out of him. He was the sweetest and gentlest man I knew.

One of my most endearing moments of him was when it would be summer time and church was over. All the kids would be on the porch, and because of all the fresh rushes of perfume in the air, the porch attracted bees. Well, we'd be up there freaking out! Granddaddy, after greeting the other saints, would come out and grab the bee in his large hand, shake him, and throw him to the ground. We would be in awe! Laughing, but in awe! We'd be jumping around saying "thank you for saving us!" He'd give us the nod and a smile. He truly was our hero.

A person like that is someone that will never be lost to me. My memory may go and the pictures may fade, but Granddaddy will always be in my heart.

New Neighbors Wanted: Dead or Alive

We've been in our house for over 3 years now. It didn't take us long to realize how to adjust to the neighborhood...meaning, how our neighbors live and treat the neighborhood is something a new neighbor should take into consideration. It was quiet when we got here, so what was the point of us moving in and being known as "The Idiots Who Make All The Noise On The Block"? We lost 2 neighbors due to foreclosures: 1 directly across the street and 1 next door. The houses were emptied almost a year ago, until about 2-3 months ago. The neighbors across the street are quiet, but busy. They have a lot of company in and out of the driveway, but so far they haven't been a problem. But next door...oh my.



We can't stand them! They're rude, intrusive, loud, obnoxious, disrespectful and a lot of other things. They were having problems when they first moved in, and we could've been neighborly and helped, but they seemed to demand it from us. Big no no. We were immediately turned off when every time we entered or exited the door, they'd come running over asking for something. "Can you call the water department for me. They came while we weren't here." I don't know if he expected me to hand over my phone, but I had hoped he realized that the water company doesn't work on Saturday anyway, so there was no need for me to call. I know this sounds mean, but, it was just the way they do things that irks me.

Another day, they decided to do some yard work. It was raining for heaven's sakes! The lady comes over and knocks on the door and asked for hedge trimmers. I said, "No, we don't have any." She said, "Well do you have some of the big scissor kind?" I said, "No, I don't." She goes, "Well then, do you have a shovel?" I said, "No, I don't have anything." Now, mind you, my husband has just about everything in our huge garage. There was no way on God's green earth that I was gonna go in my backyard with her trailing me just so she could see what all we had available to her possible disposal. She then has the unmitigated gall to ask, "Well, what 'cha got?" I said, "Nothing." and closed the door. See, I ain't no fool! God has given me good sense. If my husband had been at the door, he would have closed it long before I did! I was tryna be nice, but she made it very apparent that she needed to use whatever she could get her hands on from my garage.

They park their car at the end of the driveway and block the side walk. They play their music loud for the whole block to hear. They put their living room furniture on the porch...and sit on it...even after its rained. The rock head kids play in my crab apple tree and bend the branches. It's a young tree, so its impossible to climb and no need to play in it. I found a couple of toys in my day-lilies! They're trash miraculously migrates to my lawn. We're hardly ever outside in the front yard, so its impossible to be ours!

I've been advised that I'm gonna have to let them know not to knock on my door. I don't wish to be mean, but I'm the keep to myself kind of neighbor. So is everyone else on the block! What's taking them so long to realize that?!

I'm a little frustrated, but I'm trying to remain sweet. But these clowns are trying my patience. Let me find something else in my yard...then it'll be my turn to knock on their door. Trust me, the visit won't be pleasant.

FLABBERGASTED on a rainy day, but I was cute!

You will not believe the day I’ve had. First of all, I guess I have to begin to admit that it IS fall now. Today’s weather was gloomy and gray. It rained off and on all day today. Well, because I have a meeting to go to later on tonight and just because I wanted to look nice today, I wore a new wrap around dress and shoes with a small heel. Yes, I was cute.
The day started fine until I’m at work and almost 2 hours into the work day when I see a foreign to our company parking lot mini-van pull in. The van was moving suspiciously because it drove to the end of the lot where the last of the employee’s cars were. He moved from 1 to another to a 3rd parking spot. One person got out and went over to an employee’s car and stooped down. I knew something funny was going on, so I grabbed my umbrella (really to use as a weapon if need be) and walked outside. I stood in the visitors’ parking area and was yelling, “HEY!” The guy didn’t move. So I watched a little more. Now, I’m short, mind you, so of course I couldn’t see over many of the cars that were directly at the front of the parking lot. The guy stood up and walked back to the van. Then he goes back to the other car he was I guess “working on” and stoops again. I yelled again, “HEY!” By this time, the guy is stealing the van and pulls out of the parking space with the van following behind it. I take a few steps to get closer toward the exit gate so that I can see the van’s license plate while they were leaving. I couldn’t see the driver. He had on a brown Carhatt coat and a white hoodie, with the hood on his head. Now whenever something suspicious is going on, I make sure that the culprit knows that I am looking at him. If some guy is walking up to my car or walking behind or too close to me, before he can get close enough, I look him directly in his face and say, “Don’t walk up on my car,” or “Hi, how are you?” This way, he knows that I see him well enough where if something were to jump off…I can give his description!
Okay, back to the clowns in the van. They pull off and go up the street. I run back inside and call the coworker who owned the now stolen car. I asked, “Was someone supposed to pick up your car today or something?” Keep in mind, she lives not far from the job and has a brother who also works here. I know her family members when they come to the job. “She says, no…why? Did somebody just take it?” I said, “Yeah.” She said, “I’m coming down [stairs].”
I wrote down the make of the van, the color, and the license plate number to give to her. I call 911 and they said, “Oh, you’ll have to call the precinct and make a report with them.” FLABBERGASTED, I say, “Okay, thank you,” and hung up the phone. I called the precinct and do you know what they said? Keep reading, I’ll tell you. I said, “Someone just stole one of my employee’s vehicle out of our parking lot.” The officer said, “Ma’am, they’ll have to come in and fill out a police report here at the station.” FLABBERGASTED AGAIN, I said, “Even though they just stole it, like 8 minutes ago?” I was hoping that it was implied that the thieves are still in the vehicle RIGHT NOW! But, I guess the officer either didn’t care or just wasn’t catching my drift and says, “Yes. We can’t do anything until she comes to fill out a police report.” I’m pretty sure I said thank you and the normal goodbyes while getting off the phone, but my mind was going, “You gotta be freakin’ kidding me!”
By now, the owner has come downstairs and I’m handing her the information I wrote down. I told her about my 2 emergency calls and she gives me the same look that accompanied my previous thought. She goes to tell her brother what happened and grabs her things to head down to the police department. By now, a few other coworkers in the building are aware that we’ve had a theft. They come down to my desk to ask questions. This makes me tell the story every time someone new asks, “What happened? Did you see it?” In my mind, I’m going, “Uh, yeah, I’m the one telling the story here!”
Anyway, at lunchtime, everyone from the 2nd floor goes to lunch together or at the same time. While they’re walking out, a white van pulls into our parking lot. Again, its one I don’t recognize as belonging to one of our employees. My phone rings and its an employee from upstairs looking out the window. She says, “Jenn, did you see that white van pull into the lot.” I said, "Yeah, I saw it." Now, there is a customer in the lobby with me listening to all the commotion. His truck was parked in one of the visitor spaces which blocked my view from the white van. I say into the phone, "It looks like the same white van from earlier. What are they doing, because I can't see? My view is blocked." The customer stood and looks at the direction we're speaking of. The employee says, "He's crouching down." My job has an iron fence that opens and closes with a remote. I hit the button as if life depended on it. I had folks in their cars getting ready to leave the lot for lunch, but I apologized, although they couldn't hear me. "I'm sorry, but you guys are gonna have to wait."

Oh yes! The same van from this morning had returned and was trying to steal another car from our lot again! (You're flabbergasted, aren't you?) The thieves notice that the gate was closing, so they jump back in the van, pull out of the space, and try to beat the gate and get out of the driveway to escape. A group of male employees were already near the gate getting ready to leave. Fortunately, while we were watching the van, another employee from upstairs called one of the guys to tell him that the white van was attempting to steal another car. "Yes, they're right behind you!", she said. Two of the thieves jump out of the van, while its still moving and take off running toward the far end of our parking lot. One of the thieves climbs and jumps over our high iron fence. One male employee stops his truck, grabs, and tackles the other to the ground. While the male employees are going after the first 2 thieves, a third thief or rider comes out of the van and climbs and jumps over the gate right in front of the van which has run into our fence. She, runs to the corner where the first thief escaped. YES, I said SHE! Oh, close your mouth because, HERE is the kicker: Someone pulls up to pick the pair up at the corner, and they're driving the car they stole from our lot earlier that morning!

I'll let you let that marinate for a second. Go ahead. I've got time...

An employee from inside calls the owner who is still at the police station and tells her, "They're here again! No, they came in the same white van. No, they don't have your car here, but they did ride by here again...".

While all of this is going on, I’m on the phone with a 911 dispatcher telling her that the same van that stole from our lot that morning is here again. After I give her the details she FINALLY dispatches a police unit to our address. Within minutes, the police arrive…and pass up our lot. One of our guys goes to the end of the driveway and tries to flag him down. As they’re turning around, another cop car is coming. 3 officers, half a building of employees and one 14 year old criminal are in the parking lot while the police take statements from the victim and the accused. We couldn’t open the gate electronically because the van ran into the electrical box. The maintenance guy opened it manually so that the employees could leave and take their lunch breaks.

It was all very disheartening to see people so young skipping school to steal cars and go joyriding. It was funny after all the male employees were so puffed up and nearly banging their chests, rejoicing in their vigilantism because they caught the boy. It was sad because we still hadn’t stopped the other thieves and retrieved our girl’s car. But after all of those events that occurred in the rain, it is so important to remember that although my feet were killing me in my cute little-heeled shoes, I remained cute!