Gotta get it out!

Ok, so...(Do I start all of my blogs like this?) Anyhoo,

So, there's a track on the new Mary Mary CD "The Sound" titled "Boom". Its about holding stuff inside that you need to release. Lyrics say, "My grandmama told me/you'd better tell the truth/'cause if I hold this information/and just let it brew/its gon' build like/BOOM".

This puts us at this post today. I was talking to one of my sisters (Hi T!) about a recent meeting we had at church where appointments were made. To give you the short history: we got a new pastor and he asked who was over what auxiliaries and if you were over more than one, you had to choose which one you were more dedicated to. Ok, so our church is in a district with a new leader and now, a new pastor. At the district meeting is where we are at the beginning of this paragraph. You still with me? Keep readin'.

Ok, so I was put into a position on the district level that I am debating on whether or not to keep on the local level. Let me explain: I am over an auxiliary at my church and was appointed to the same auxiliary within the district, meaning, I'd be the overseer of the auxiliary within all the churches in the disctrict. Thankfully, there are only 2 churches in the district at the moment.

Here's where my dilemma begins. I want to and-eventually-hopefully-really-soon talk to my pastor about how I feel about all this. I am over several things in our church. And the hubs and I tiff over it all the time about how busy I am and why I HAVE to be there all the time or why I HAVE to go all the time. But, its a thing for me and many of the other members thatfeel like, "I'll take it on because I don't want it to fall/fail." The group that I'm over is definitely needed and I'm not sure who would/could take it on if I don't want to or can't do it anymore. So, again, I don't want it to fall, which makes me again obligated to stick with it. I know what type of response I can get from the group and it frightens me that they won't respond the same way with someone else over them.

Don't get me wrong: I don't mean this in a vain way at all. Its just that just anybody couldn't do this particular job. The right person has to have a certain repoire with the participants. That's about as much of that as I can touch, so I'ma let this go for now.

Anyhoo, I have a young family at home. My husband doesn't understand the church lifestyle that I live and he and my almost 3-year-old son need me to be at home. Don't think I'm like running out on them and heading for church every free second I get. (I'm sure if you ask hubs, he'll say so, but he's crazy so don't ask him anything.) I LOVE being busy. It...um...gives me something to do! (Duh!) But I guess I am trying to cut back a little, but honestly this one particular gig is one that I think I am officially ready to give up. I have my reasons that I won't list here, but I'd tell if asked.

I guess I just need the right time, words, and opportunity to discuss this with my pastor and district superintendent. I at least need to get it off my chest.

This is a start...