In my feelings...or whatever that means

Kids and their sayings these day; go figure.

Actually, I think I know what "in my feelings" means if it means what it says literally.  I am experiencing some emotions that I'd rather not get over at the moment; I'd like to explore exactly what I'm feeling and see what this leads to. (Is that it? I hope that's it...cuz that's what I think it is.)

So to address the old elephant in the room, I know it's been a really long time since I've posted a blog. (Ya happy now?  I admitted it.)  A LOT has happened since my last post.   I mean, shoot, I've had my second baby and she's almost 3 years old now!  So because I keep my personal stuff personal...I've decided to again post my deepest thoughts on a public interface!  Eye-ron-knee!  I thought about buying and writing in a journal, but handwriting unfortunately is a lost art because it's not instant like everything else we give our attention to these days.  Typing, however, works...especially on a qwerty board compared to an actual keyboard.

I'd love to talk it out but I get so emotional and the tears ensue.  I'm not a softee.  I'm not!  And crying in front of someone isn't comfortable for me.  Also, the folks that I would talk too would always take my side.  Well,  at least I would expect them to, and that's not always what I want.  It's times like this that I really miss my dad.  Oh my God, how daddy would listen and make it all better.  He'd give it to me straight but with such a gentleness that I'd have to take it.  Now, don't get me wrong...my Momma is the same way.  I just don't want to make her worry over MY issues.  I know that's what moms do, but I don't want to burden her.  She worries about me enough.  My sisters...would agree with my feelings and be ready to fight.  My brother is a quiet storm.  I can tell that he's thinking but he doesn't tell me what because he's so cool about everything.   He's too nice to get mad.  (One of those traits from my dad.)

So, blogging it is.  Not sure what all I'll say, but the point is to get it out.  I'm hesitant, but people say what they wanna all the time.  I've always been careful with my words, but this is emotional therapy for me.  Maybe I won't post the emotional blogs.  Maybe they'll never be read.  It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Either way, wisdom must be used so that feelings won't be abused.